¿Dónde Está la Biblioteca?

So I'm at the library. Actually, the picture above has nothing to do with a library. I just thought it was an innovative way to store books. I think I would like to have a closet like that in my future house.

I realized today that I do crave meat. Before I started college, I was a vegetarian for 8 months. Okay, it wasn't a strict vegetarian diet, but it was certainly meatless. I allowed myself eggs and dairy products as well as seafood. Strictly speaking, I was an ovo-lacto-pescatarian.

It was very fulfilling in many ways.

But this story isn't about my 8 months of clarity, nor about how I arrived at the decision to ban myself of poultry (that is in and of itself another story). No, this story is about how I broke my ovo-lacto-pescatarianism.

There is a popular college chicken wings place just outside Santa Clara University's campus called University Chicken (formerly Cluck U's). They have a particular challenge called the 911 challenge, where prospective contestants must sign a waiver before partaking.

The waiver pretty much said that we were doing this of our own free will and the place wasn't responsible for any damages done. The challenge was simple: eat 12 chicken wings and get a picture on the wall and a T-shirt declaring your victory.

I know someone who finished it and actually did call 911 because of stomach pains, so you get the idea of how bad it can get.

So I decided to break my vegetarianism by taking on this challenge a week after one of my friends completed it.

Of the 12 wings I was challenged to eat, I finished 3. On my 4th wing, I ran to the women's bathroom to vomit. My eyes were burning, and the sauce from the wings were on various places on my arm.

I rolled around the front of University Chicken for the next hour along with a friend or two. I couldn't open my eyes for a good 30 minutes because they were burning from the sauce residues.

When I got home to take a shower, the place where the sauce touched my arm burned upon the washing of the water.

Then came the stool, nearly an hour of excruciating rectal burning that taught me my greatest lesson in life. It is a lesson that I think everyone should learn, though not necessarily and hopefully not the hard way: anything that burns in the anal area will burn forever in your memory. I learned that being raped would not be in my best interest, despite my previous mild curiosity ...

I can now honestly say that I know what it feels like in the hot seat.

I think I have a problem with challenges.




I hate anatomy.