Be a Part of It

DATs are over. Don't ask how I did, please. I pulled out with an 18 Science and a 19 Academic Average, which isn't bad, I guess, but far, far below my expectations. My opinion on myself varies from time to time. We'll see how it affects long-term Andrew.

I want to blog about my trip to New York, among other things, but I don't know where to begin.

It's like life is somehow much more blurred and disheveled now. The schedules I've made before are somehow thrown out, my plans forgotten. All my grandiose ideas and self-induced responsibilities are out of reach, just beyond the tips of my fingers.

Yeah, like everything that was put in place in the past is disregarded in the present.

Like New York City, where the lines on the road seem only to be a formality, and rarely am I the one doing the driving.

Sooty Mangabey

"There is no room for complacency..." - from Evolutionary Analysis, 4th Ed. by Scott Freeman and Jon C. Herron

The quotation is taken completely out of context, and I found it awkwardly melodramatic in a textbook setting. Freeman was discussing the repercussions of HIV and its toll on human life. He says that we shouldn't be satisfied with the medical treatment of HIV/AIDS because it is still very prevalent. In fact, the life expectancy of Botswana went from 65 to 40 once HIV was introduced and is still declining (Freeman & Herron, 2007). So no, there is no room for complacency.

Maybe it's not melodramatic after all.

I, however, took it differently. What I realized from the reading was that progress, while positive, does not necessarily equate to success. As truistic as it sounds, only success can be success. So while we pander to ourselves about how much better we're getting or how we have been improving, it cannot be forgotten that these concepts, while under the guise of sycophantic praise, can be retrogressive in nature, at least in terms of attaining a goal.

There is no room for complacency if success is not reached.

My DAT is this Friday, and slowly I am realizing the difference between progress and success. School is in full swing, my dental application awaits just yonder, behind the horizon of "the test". Stress is inescapable, and while I think of myself as a relaxed person, my mental and emotional flexibility is constantly being tested even before the actual exam.

So maybe I was just looking for some words to thrust me into confidence, but somehow, even if it did seem like extra information I didn't need to know before something so monumentally important, reading for my Evolution quiz helped me study for my DAT. I took something completely out of context and meditated on it. A simple sentence that, if put into another context, could have such powerful significance, or, if you're reading an Evolution textbook for a class, mean next to nothing at all.

Maybe we just need to meditate on things more, even if the intentions of those statements are obvious or self-evident ("homo-evident").

Maybe we already know these things in our minds but forget their worth in the daily chaos of our lives.

Maybe we don't really need these little ditties and motivational lines to drive us because we are already driven.

Maybe we do. Maybe we need reminders. Maybe we need something beyond ourselves to succeed.

And maybe some days we are satisfied with our lives, happy to be living simply because it is life, reaching for our goals that we'll attain sometime in an impersonal future.

But, in my own experience at least, we must remember how crowded our lives can be, like a car that's moving your possessions from one residence to another.

And in this car, there is no more room for complacency.

DAT and Other Puns

Every pun of the acronym DAT has been used. Please don't present any more puns as if they are original.

I am scared as hell.

My test is next Thursday, and I don't know if I can do this. I am seriously considering postponing my test until September, but I don't know if this is because of nerves or whether I am seriously going to bomb the test.

I don't think I have ever been this mentally terrified in my life.

I need to figure out if it's just my nerves or not, because I refuse to play this game with myself. I am a very proficient mental opponent with myself. Some would call me equal to myself.

Which only reminds me of the Quantitative Reasoning section of my test.

And this blogging reminds me of the Reading Comprehension portion.

And my impending failure.

Save me.

EPIC

As many of you know, I have been studying (not so) diligently for my DATs. I have been known to study at various places around Milpitas, such as a local Starbucks or Peet's Coffee.

Today, however, I decided to go with my friend Christian to the Milpitas Library, which is relatively new. It boasts state-of-the-art facilities and utilities, such as a computer monitor that allows private internet viewing for people so others can't watch at odd angles. However, for those looking directly into the monitor, the screen is in full view.

Christian and I are sitting next to an island where the public computers are. Next to us are two seemingly innocuous public library users maximizing their opportunity. On one side is a 50ish-year-old Chinese man. To his left is a young black middle school boy, supposedly studying. Behind the boy is a woman sitting who seems to be watching him, making sure he works.

Christian and I are behind them.

The old woman falls asleep, so naturally, as any of us would do, the boy starts to fool around.

But things get out of hand...


The old man has been watching graphic Chinese pornography this whole time, and Christian and I can see this. It's surreal, the porn and the fact that he's watching it.

Furthermore, the black kid's babysitter is dozing off so he's sneaking glances every so often.

AND THE OLD CHINESE MAN WON'T STOP!

Pic or no proof?

From left to right: The sleeping babysitter, the black preteenager, the perverted old man.
Christian clarifies in case you couldn't tell which one was looking at the porn.

7th Inning Stretch

My ecology final is in 15 minutes, and after that, my DATs are in three weeks. Pray for me.

I am not a fan of baseball, nor have I ever deigned to be. I do not pretend to enjoy any aspect of baseball culture, but it inevitably permeates the American culture in which I live.

I do, however, support the fact that it, like most major sports, brings the American people together. It gives us something to watch together and follow with each other. It promotes national unity. Baseball games are as much an exercise in patriotism as they are a form of entertainment and athleticism.

I just wish it wasn't so goddamn boring.