"You make me so happy, and that is why you make me cry."

Each breakup is a bullet. Sometimes it's a surprise, and sometimes you see it coming, but no matter what, the pain is numbing and oftentimes, unbearable. And for some people who've taken bullets before, if they go too long with experiencing that pain, they are not as wary to risk it again. They can convince themselves that they are impervious to the pain.

"I've done it before, so it'll be okay this time. I know what to do."

But it's not, and you don't. Bullets still hurt, the metal maggots eating you from within, and each new bullet hurts with the same extreme intensity, albeit in a different way than other bullets. Breakups are similar in that regard. They are all different, because there are different relationships, but they can hurt with an immeasurable intensity that can only be described by comparing it with similar intensities, such as other breakups. There is sadness and pain that eats from within.





So don't take things lightly, good friends, because when you care, you can hurt.

Pretty Good

“You speak pretty good for an Asian,”
is what I heard surrounded by las montañas in Montana,
the air more frigid than the glare of a jilted lover,
the snowy peaks sharp and steep like hoods.

“You speak pretty good,”
is what he actually said.
I added the extra prepositional phrase (that he implied),
but I still didn’t know where the restrooms were.

I wanted to say to him
with the vitriol of a burning cross,
that blacks and latinos,
and jews and assorted asians, for that matter,
are not the only minorities.

There are homosexuals, and the sterile,
the biology majors,
the policewomen,
the entomologists,
the yoga teachers and zookeepers
and chimney sweepers.
How many of those do you know?
We are all minorities in some form.

And that is why we congregate;
We want to be left alone,
but we don’t want to be alone
against-
the majority who doubt our abilities,
our ability to work,
to drive and to jump,
to speak.


But I will not be silenced by a stereotype.
I will speak, and I will speak well,
and I will speak loudly and use big words,
like gregarious and gesticulate
because they sound pretty good to me,
and are relevant when I speak.

So when you say to me,
“You speak pretty good [for and Asian],”
It is neither socially,
nor politically
nor grammatically
correct,
but I’ll let it slide -
since it’s technically correct,
ain’t it?