Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Spots of Five


via Calphotos

We collected this for my California Flora class, Nemophila maculata. Its common name is the fivespot, for obvious reasons I think. This picture looks like it could have been a Polaroid, which is why I like it. It's a nostalgic picture, like all Polaroids. The funny thing is that Polaroids can be described as nostalgic now, about two decades after they were popularized.

It's also interesting that the word "nostalgia" can be applied to things as an adjective. If you think about it, nostalgia is a wistful feeling derived from personal memories, but when we call things nostalgic, it doesn't necessarily mean we have personal memories of the object described. Oftentimes it's nostalgic because of the way it's presented. It calls to mind a certain way of doing things, a certain way of living things.

So Polaroid-like pictures are nostalgic because they bring to mind the past. I think it's more of a collective past, not a personal one, that allows us to describe things as nostalgic.

Either way, nostalgia is a wonderfully bittersweet feeling. I forgot where I heard this (damn), but someone told me? or I read somewhere? that nostalgia is bittersweet in that we remember our good experiences, but lament that they aren't happening now.

Hm.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Tufas and the Sounds of Sand

One of the requirements of California Flora is that we make a plant press containing at least 25 different species. We are responsible of gathering our own plants and figuring out what species they are. Our professor, Dr. McNeal, probably knows every single species we collect but still tells us to figure it out ourselves. How dare he make us learn.

Another requirement, that goes in tandem with the first one, is to go on three out of four field trips, one of which is mandatory for all. The required one is a weekend trip, which was this past weekend. We were to leave Friday morning at 6:30 and arrive back at school today, Sunday, in the late afternoon.

However, Josh and I had a biennial banquet to attend for AXΣ. I guess the fact that it happens every two years made us tell Dr. McNeal that we had to leave early, thereby prioritizing our fraternity brothers over our potential academic endeavors. We didn't think our grades would be jeopardized, though, so we sought to leave early. He said it was okay, but we would had to drive down ourselves and leave ourselves. Also, there would be no reimbursement for gas and whatnot. I don't think I've truly understood the life of a poor college student until this semester. I seriously spend 80% of my funds on booze and haircuts.

So Josh and I left Friday morning to go to Death Valley National Park. We made a quick detour to check out the beautiful Mono Lake. I felt a bit guilty because I had a lot of fun, while still learning. It has a rich history and wonderful sights as well. Josh waded in an admittedly disgusting-looking carbon dioxide spring, but it looked really warm and pretty fun as well. The warm water went up to his chin, and the lurid scent of sulfur made its home on his skin. We learned about the tufas of Mono Lake (shown below), which are just rocks made beneath the surface of the lake that stand tall as the water level drops.



The most beautiful part of Mono Lake was the fact that we were walking on a marshy beach, but the skies retained the blue clarity of a tinted diamond. The sun was bright, but we were surrounded by snow-capped mountains. I think we were driving at the foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountains, if not in the range itself. The views were consistently spectacular.

We also stopped around to pick up a few plants, but when we got to the campsite around 6PM after almost 9 hours of driving, we were understandably tired. However, at Dr. Brunell's challenge, a few of us decided to climb the 680 feet Eureka Dunes, ones he claimed were the tallest in North America. I have since learned that this isn't so but only by about 50 feet.

We started off as a big group, probably about a dozen, walking up the dunes with only our eyes to guide us through the night's scarce light. We had flashlights, but if we turned them on to see what was in front of us, it was difficult to see further away. We knew we had to veer left and then upwards because a direct path to the peaks would yield a journey riddled with rises and dips that would not only disallow us to see our campsite light, but also make our work much more difficult in terms of energy expense.

However, because it was dark, we veered only a bit to the left, and ended up climbing the steepest part of the dunes anyways. Josh had to pee, so he and I started off behind the group. Then, as we moved to catch up, hiking with great difficulty, we joined a few of the slower members. Walking with them, I guess I felt a bit of camaraderie, since we were not physically fit enough to climb all the way up. We were told it would be difficult, but I guess we did one or both of two things: overestimated our own fitness level and/or underestimated the sand dunes. Either way, we climbed up to this last stretch, three of us, before it got really steep.

I actually went up a bit further, thinking I could easily follow the main group all the way up. Halfway up the steep part, though, I gave up, sweating and tired, muscles crying for respite. I sat alone for a long while.

As the nine others climbed up, leaving me solitary on the sandy slant, I began to hear a low hum. It was a deep timbre, as if the dune itself were singing to me. I forgot about my fatigue, while ironically catering to it, and laid down to listen. I felt the reverberating note vibrating all throughout my body, like an internal echo. It was something so alive, yet I knew that it came from the inanimate. I thought about how it had always been like this, since the hundreds of thousands of years ago that the dune developed, it has always sung, at least before humankind had developed. Thus, in a sense, I was listening to a song that was older than time itself. I don't think there could be a noise more beautiful on this planet, at least not one of human origins.

Justin and Monica were below a bit, and the three of us ended up meeting in the middle. I yelled down to the other two stragglers, after Josh and the others had left. We hung out for a bit, waiting for them to come down.

After about an hour or so, we got tired of waiting. Justin and I looked at each other and we knew. We had to go to the highest point. This was an opportunity that we couldn't pass up, maybe once in a lifetime.

So the three of us climbed up, determined to reach the highest point possible. We crawled and slid, but we kept going. Upon reaching the top of the steepest part, Justin and I felt an amazing rush of satisfaction, as if our greatest goals had just been achieved, and in some way, I felt as if it had been. I felt as if my accomplishment represented what I can do, pushing myself beyond what I see are my limits. If I work at it, I guess I can do things I never thought I could do, and I love that it was Nature that inspired me to realize so.

In other news, when I got back to the AXΣ banquet, I was awarded "Fraternity Clown," which doesn't mean I'm funny. It just means I look good with make-up and a red nose, I suppose.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Dreams, I Guess

The other night I had a dream that some good friends of mine and I were hanging out. All of a sudden a friend of mine said to me, "I bet you can't carry me on your back." Of course, knowing that I can carry someone who weighs about 250 pounds pretty easily on my back, I took the challenge.

However, much to my dismay, I found that this friend of mine was too heavy for me. He was on my back, and as I tried to walk forward, I found that he was too heavy. He kept telling me, "It's okay, dude. It's not a big deal," but the more he said it, the more determined I was simply to take a few steps, just to prove that I could walk with this weight on my back.

It wasn't a big deal, I guess. It just means I couldn't walk around with something that heavy on me.

However, when I remembered the dream yesterday as I was on the toilet, I thought to myself. Is it possible that there was a deeper meaning to that dream? Maybe this whole dentistry thing is a little bit too much for me. Maybe I won't make it after all. Maybe I'm in over my head with all these ambitions.

Then I reasoned that regardless of whether I make it or not, I will still try. I'm not going to let a dream phase me when so many other things haven't.

It does make me a bit nervous, though.

Here's a video of a song I used to like, by Kirsten Dunst.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Ecstasy

For the first time, I was able to be active while a pledge class worked through the process of becoming brothers. It was one of the rawer experiences I've had. During it, I've questioned my own motivations to behave how I do and as a result, my own emotions and the roots of them.

But more importantly, I was able to meet and get to know 17 amazing people. I intuitively want to call them kids because they're two years younger than I am, or at least two grades younger. They look younger, act younger, laugh younger. And ironically it was in youth that I found maturity. Their youth taught me how to be mature.

For a lot of my life, I have never really been an ideal role model. I've always cared little as to how my actions seemed to others. I just wanted to do my thing and explain it to others after the fact. It was much easier if I could act now and answer questions after I've done something. That way, if I did anything wrong, I could explain it away, make excuses, reason out to show how I am always right.

But I'm not always right.

My new friends haven't really done anything unexpected. They all did as they were supposed to do. What was unexpected, however, was how they affected me. I probably don't show it, probably won't show it, but man, I love these kids. I don't know if it's the same kind of love a parent has for their child, an older brother for his younger siblings, or simply the pride of a friend's accomplishments, but I definitely love them all.

Maybe I'll set good examples, do things that would make others proud of me. Maybe I'll think about things before doing them, with the understanding that the wrong actions help yield the right ones. Maybe I'll be a better person. I know I already feel like one.

Of course, as with most pledging processes, the fire of these feelings will probably fade, drift toward oblivion quietly without fanning, but that certainly doesn't make it less real. It is in this moment that I guess I appreciate how much I enjoy life, how much hope I can witness. I mean, it doesn't get more hopeful than having new friends. The potential for happiness seems unlimited.

Also, I think someone's been slipping estrogen powder in my food because I've been getting pretty sensitive.


Talking about my feelings?

Ugh.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Short Nights, Long Days

The other day, Saturday to be exact, I had the pleasure of waking up at 6AM to rendezvous in front of the bio building. It was one of the field trips for my California Flora class. We need to go on a few of these little buggers to collect and press plant specimen from all over California. We're going to Yosemite in a few weeks, and there's going to be an overnight camping trip, too.

But Saturday was not an overnight trip. It was a day trip, and a long one at that. I had nobly tried to sleep early (fell asleep around 1 I think) in order to muster up the strength for the road.

And to my surprise, I had a splendid time. It wasn't one of those laugh-fests, or a trip filled with particularly extreme memories. It was just one of those days that was consistently fun, even if in small amounts.

We had 3 stops to pick plants, and we pressed them in between sheets of newspaper, for posterity I presume. Actually, for a grade primarily, but I think the idea is to save is for others to see.

Dr. McNeal told us to bring food because there would be no stops. Naturally Josh and I "packed" right before we left. Amazingly enough, he brought three apples and I had three bananas. However, after making one pit stop because someone had to go to the bathroom, we swayed Dr. McNeal. The restroom at the gas station was out of order, and we were dying of hunger.

As we walked out of the gas station convenience store, we said to the ol' professor, "Hey, Dr. Mac! Do you know where there's a bathroom? I hear Taco Bell has a bathroom. Oh, look! It's right over there!"

And like a kindly grandfather, he acquiesced, and Taco Bell was had by all.

The most memorable part of the trip, I thought, was walking up the Red Hills, by a small stream. It was as quiet as a world can be, as sunny as was allowed, and as cool as a light breeze can create. It was one of those common cases in California of idyllic, perfect weather.

It's these small moments in our lives that make us appreciate the world more.

As I've read somewhere,

"Scenery without solace is meaningless."