As is the case with many people as the second semester comes in full swing, I have been quite caught up with various aspects of my life.
That's just a vague and generalized way of saying I'm busy.
In fact, I'm so busy, that if any of you paid attention to my last post, you would notice the flaw in the date. I don't mean date like Valentine's Day date because...well refer to either Long's blog or below for an explanation.
I'm referring to the date and time the last entry of my blog was posted. The entry talked about Valentine's Day because I published it yesterday (February 14th). However, since I started the post on Tuesday, February 10th, the date corresponded to the start date.
Thus is the extent of my procrastination/busy-ness.
Actually, to be honest, I've been keeping pretty busy with school and stuff. In fact, since I came home for the weekend (Friday ca. 6PM) until now, I have not left the confines of my household. So far, that's about 43-44 hours without stepping outside the doors. My parents would make good prison wardens.
Bob: Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. I'm looking for, like, an accomplice. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out?
Charlotte: I'm in. I'll go pack my stuff.
Bob: I hope that you've had enough to drink. It's going to take courage.
My only hope of freedom, ironically, comes around the time we leave for church (ca. 8PM), by which time I will have eclipsed the 48 hour mark...
Well, it could be worse. At least the country's not in an economic recess- oh wait.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Facebook Hiatus
I promised Stephanie I'd mention her in my next entry, so there. I just did.
She claims to have sent me a Valentine, but I refuse to believe her until it gets in my mailbox. I hope it comes. =)
Honestly, this is my first Valentine's Day where I find myself not pursuing a valentine since I was in 8th grade. I'm not saying this for any particular purpose other than the observation that I think it's actually quite nice. The majority of my day was spent studying, without any internet connection, as is the tradition in the Nguyen household.
When school is in session, the internet is subject to a chaotic and varied schedule. In short, the schedule-maker (or "Father" as some call him) decides on whim when to disconnect it and reconnect it. I actually am able to understand the topological concept of homeomorphism better than I can understand daddy's whims.
So yes, although not necessarily my original plan, I spent the day alone. Valentine's Day was actually nice, knowing that it wasn't any special day at all. In fact, all holidays are human devices, and there is no significance to any particular day...
So, Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
I hope you're all lonely.
The other day, I challenged Quyen in Word Challenge. As some of you know, the WC application on Facebook allows you to duel your friends in a Mano Mano sense. However, although I had been actively participating in challenges from Quyen and to Quyen, this particular challenge was different.
For starters, this challenge did not involve the the "Challenge!" part of the application. It in fact involved the personal, original portion of the game, your personal High Score.
Let me set this up.
Quyen and I have faced each other on the Word Field (as I like to call it) many times before. And while I consider her my protege of sorts, I still refuse to show her mercy. I made that mistake one time already, when distracted by the inescapable allure of Skype conference calls. I had stopped playing around the minute mark, believing my modest score of 19,000 would be sufficient. However, to my utter dismay, Quyen was able to beat me by 2,000.
I didn't make that mistake again. She did, however, eventually beat me one more time, by 200. However, since I have won the majority of the challenges, I wanted a more competitive battlefield. So this happened:
After a particularly pathetic few scores, none of which I lost, fortunately, I told Quyen that I would challenge her once more and get 40,000 points. I called it, and I did it, eclipsing the 41K mark. She responded to the challenge accordingly, and to my utter shock, she got 39K.
This is impressive on two levels. Firstly, her previous high score ever was around 28K. Furthermore, she achieved this noteworthy score of 39K on a challenge. Not only that, 39K is well above my normal average, so on almost all the other challenges, she would have beaten me...except this one. Only Quyen can tell you the extent of her anger.
Then, I proposed a real challenge. I said to her, "Why don't we play for something?"
To which she replied, "Like what? -_-" still obviously depressed about her recent loss.
"I'm not sure," I thought aloud. "How about I have to get 50K and you have to get 35K in real mode before the end of the week?"
It was an equal challenge, I argued, for both. She had only passed the 35K mark once and I had only passed the 50K mark once. My highest score ever was 54K, so it's not easy for me.
She agreed, and we set the terms. If I lost, I had to tell her the secret to the Cereal Box Game, which, as I recall, only Loc, Bethany, Harry, Anna and I know. Oh, and probably Matt. Quyen REALLY wanted to know.
If she lost, however, meaning 1. I eclipsed 50K and she didn't get higher than 35K or 2. I got over 50K more than she got over 35K, then she would have to send me a work of poetry she wrote. She never told me she wrote any, but I assumed she did. I think I'm right.
That night, while "studying" at the library, I logged onto Facebook to get higher than 50K. While in the middle of a game, I realized how stupid this was, how I was going to fail school spending hours and hours playing this stupid game, for this stupid bet. I didn't mind losing. I just wanted to stop.
So I planned to end my Facebook addiction by giving my password to Sean. He changed it like a good friend would. And with that, my FB minutes were cut off.
However, before I logged off, I wanted to play one more game, just to see what would happen. I had already given up, in essence. I just wanted one last taste of Word Challenge before my Facebook Hiatus.
And I got 64,000.
GG.
She claims to have sent me a Valentine, but I refuse to believe her until it gets in my mailbox. I hope it comes. =)
Honestly, this is my first Valentine's Day where I find myself not pursuing a valentine since I was in 8th grade. I'm not saying this for any particular purpose other than the observation that I think it's actually quite nice. The majority of my day was spent studying, without any internet connection, as is the tradition in the Nguyen household.
When school is in session, the internet is subject to a chaotic and varied schedule. In short, the schedule-maker (or "Father" as some call him) decides on whim when to disconnect it and reconnect it. I actually am able to understand the topological concept of homeomorphism better than I can understand daddy's whims.
So yes, although not necessarily my original plan, I spent the day alone. Valentine's Day was actually nice, knowing that it wasn't any special day at all. In fact, all holidays are human devices, and there is no significance to any particular day...
So, Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
I hope you're all lonely.
The other day, I challenged Quyen in Word Challenge. As some of you know, the WC application on Facebook allows you to duel your friends in a Mano Mano sense. However, although I had been actively participating in challenges from Quyen and to Quyen, this particular challenge was different.
For starters, this challenge did not involve the the "Challenge!" part of the application. It in fact involved the personal, original portion of the game, your personal High Score.
Let me set this up.
Quyen and I have faced each other on the Word Field (as I like to call it) many times before. And while I consider her my protege of sorts, I still refuse to show her mercy. I made that mistake one time already, when distracted by the inescapable allure of Skype conference calls. I had stopped playing around the minute mark, believing my modest score of 19,000 would be sufficient. However, to my utter dismay, Quyen was able to beat me by 2,000.
I didn't make that mistake again. She did, however, eventually beat me one more time, by 200. However, since I have won the majority of the challenges, I wanted a more competitive battlefield. So this happened:
After a particularly pathetic few scores, none of which I lost, fortunately, I told Quyen that I would challenge her once more and get 40,000 points. I called it, and I did it, eclipsing the 41K mark. She responded to the challenge accordingly, and to my utter shock, she got 39K.
This is impressive on two levels. Firstly, her previous high score ever was around 28K. Furthermore, she achieved this noteworthy score of 39K on a challenge. Not only that, 39K is well above my normal average, so on almost all the other challenges, she would have beaten me...except this one. Only Quyen can tell you the extent of her anger.
Then, I proposed a real challenge. I said to her, "Why don't we play for something?"
To which she replied, "Like what? -_-" still obviously depressed about her recent loss.
"I'm not sure," I thought aloud. "How about I have to get 50K and you have to get 35K in real mode before the end of the week?"
It was an equal challenge, I argued, for both. She had only passed the 35K mark once and I had only passed the 50K mark once. My highest score ever was 54K, so it's not easy for me.
She agreed, and we set the terms. If I lost, I had to tell her the secret to the Cereal Box Game, which, as I recall, only Loc, Bethany, Harry, Anna and I know. Oh, and probably Matt. Quyen REALLY wanted to know.
If she lost, however, meaning 1. I eclipsed 50K and she didn't get higher than 35K or 2. I got over 50K more than she got over 35K, then she would have to send me a work of poetry she wrote. She never told me she wrote any, but I assumed she did. I think I'm right.
That night, while "studying" at the library, I logged onto Facebook to get higher than 50K. While in the middle of a game, I realized how stupid this was, how I was going to fail school spending hours and hours playing this stupid game, for this stupid bet. I didn't mind losing. I just wanted to stop.
So I planned to end my Facebook addiction by giving my password to Sean. He changed it like a good friend would. And with that, my FB minutes were cut off.
However, before I logged off, I wanted to play one more game, just to see what would happen. I had already given up, in essence. I just wanted one last taste of Word Challenge before my Facebook Hiatus.
And I got 64,000.
GG.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Matthew Strikes Again (Feb. 2)
SO. I'm checkin' out Matt's Xanga (which all of you should follow) and he asked his readers to do something, so instead of studying for physics, I'll do it.
"24 HOURS TO LIVE! (AKA 24 HOURS UNTIL YOU DIE)
Must Have...
- Minimum 8 Hours of Sleep
- Freedom to go anywhere (instant transporation)
- Can go with anyone you want, or alone, at any time
- At some point in the day, you must take two tests (15 minutes each)
- One of the tests must be a rigorous academic subject that you are good at
- The other test must be on an academic subject that you care about the most/are most interested in
- If you pass these two tests, you will be able to fix any significant social/political problem in the world. What would you fix?
- Where do you go, who is with you, and what do you do there?
12 AM -
1AM -
2AM -
3AM -
4AM -
5AM -
6AM -
7AM -
8AM -
9AM -
10AM -
11AM -
12PM -
1PM -
2PM -
3PM -
4PM -
5PM -
6PM -
7PM -
8PM -
9PM -
10PM -
11PM -
12AM -
What would you do?
Places to go?
Activities?
Abilities?
People?
Interests?
Concerns?
Talk to me about it after... If enough people fill it out, I'll type up mine! :D!"
12AM-5AM: I'll sleep and wake up just before the sunrise, so I can catch it one last time with the woman I love on a beach somewhere nowhere near civilization. I know, I know. Those of you who know me well are probably thinking, "No way Andrew can get up that early! Freakin' lazy-ass mother fu-" But this is a hypothetical so just let me have my fun, ok? =)
5AM-7AM: I'd eat breakfast with aforementioned woman while watching the sunrise. We'll talk and laugh and just be all smiles. Breakfast will include sausages and eggs and tater tots. Wait, wtf? That's what I eat at the dining hall...talk about pathetic aspirations. Anyways, the food itself hardly matters, as long as I get to eat something and enjoy my morning.
7AM-10AM: After I eat and watch the sunrise and change my Facebook status accordingly, I'd take a 3 hour nap. I freakin' woke up hella early!
"Andrew Nguyen just had an amazing morning with [insert name here], watching the sun rise on a deserted island and enjoying each other's company! About 2 minutes ago. - Comment"
10AM-11AM: I'd take my two tests. The first one would be an essay test. I'd probably take the essay portion of the SAT I again, since I did pretty well every time I took it. Then, after those first 15 minutes, I'd take a 30 minute break to cram for a Human Anatomy test, which is the required course I'm taking now for my degree, leading the way to a dental school acceptance hopefully. The world problem I'd fix would be world hunger. I think everyone should have a chance to be nourished. That way, they can be healthy to make good decisions. I just want everyone to be happy =)
11AM-12:30PM: I'll probably go to Church. I want it to be a Sunday celebration, with one of my friends presiding, and any other friends who happen to be priests also present behind the alter. Also behind the alter I'd like Cha Tri Dinh, simply because he really, really, really knows how to help out alter servers. Yes, I'm speaking as the voice of experience. Matt and I would have walked around aimlessly without him.
Also, I'd like the FLOCK Choir to sing for mass. The gathering song will be "Go to Distance" from Hercules. I want Tri Phan and Thuy Angela to sing the Responsorial Psalm and generally lead the vocals with the rest of FLOCK backing them up. Anh Hoan will conduct and My will be on piano when she's not singing. The music will be the Mass of Glory setting by Bob Hurd. I'd like to be the one to deliver the homily, giving insights about my life and my observations. I'd make it as funny as possible too so that Jesus himself will un-nail himself from the cross to slap his knee and clutch his ribs.
I hope water doesn't spill out, though.
Ok, ok, I'm going to hell, I know.
The Nicene Creed will be sung in Vietnamese as Kinh Tin Kính even though technically, it's missing some parts. Also, the peace-giving part will be long like it is at Youth Mass because everyone will give everyone a hug. The congregation will consist of all my friends, if they so choose to come. Normally, I hate it when that part lasts a long time, not because I don't like to extend peace, but because some people give peace while others stand around uncomfortably. If everyone was involved and it was long, I wouldn't mind. I just don't like leaving people out. That's why when I sang in FLOCK, I was the first one back to the choir section, ready to sing the Lamb of God. I don't like leaving members of the congregation out.
Anywho, after communion (which will feature "The Servant Song" as the song), FLOCK will regale us with a meditation song. I'm thinking Irish Blessing, but it could be anything as long as it's pretty. The last song will be "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban. It will be sung by Josh Groban and Mariah Carey, since I think they have the two best voices for their genders in the world.
12:30PM-2:30PM: I'll have lunch with my friends. It will be at a Pho luncheon where we can order plates that a restaurant would normally serve. I'll probably go with some Com Tam dish. Lunch will probably be with my Dong Hanh friends and whoever else went to church like Pray4Fun, my Pacific friends, Boy Scout friends, Bellarmine friends, anyone. We'll pay for the priests. It'd be a lot of fun, like the DHDH meals we had or any meal with Sean, Eric and Michael, haha.
2:30PM-5PM: Hang out at a remote beach with all my friends. Just enjoy the sun and laugh and play. Build sand castles, play football, bury people, argue with Michael Lai, etc.
5PM-6PM: Play basketball. It doesn't matter with whom as long as the games are competitive and fun. I'd actually like to play at American Airlines Stadium where the Dallas Mavericks play cuz I think it's one of the nicest stadiums in the NBA. Actually, it'd be cool to play in front of a sell-out crowd. The game wouldn't be as polished as an NBA game, but if it's competitive then it'll be fun to play and watch too.
6PM-6:30PM: Shower.
6:30PM-8:30PM: Play mafia with anyone who wants to play. Attendance is only required for my brother, cuz he knows how to make it interesting. We'd play on the beach and watch the sun set. We'd play until we need to light torches to see the cards.
8:30PM-10:30PM: Fatty dinner with my family, including all the cousins and uncles and aunts on both sides of my family. Also, all my friends are invited. So really, it's a party with food. We'll be jolly and merry and enjoy ourselves, laughing and joking. The food will be anything anyone wants. I'll probably have a hella gourmet burger with hella gourmet fries or something, haha. We'll be loud and talk and yell and sing at this dinner. Good times will be had. People will leave the dinner saying, "Wow. Andrew knows how to have a good dinner."
10:30PM-11PM: I'll play Super Smash Brothers Melee with Tri Nguyen. I know it'd yield something exciting, haha.
11PM-11:30PM: I'd say goodbye to everyone. Not the sad goodbye. The normal good bye. We shouldn't need to tell our friends and family how much we love them at the last moment. The whole day should be filled with words of appreciation. I wouldn't need to tell anyone that I'll miss them or that I love them. They should have already heard it from me.
11:30PM-11:59PM: I'd take all the pictures that were taken of my day and write a caption for them. There would probably be hundreds so I'll just probably caption the ones I like the best. I'd leave a picture book, showing everyone how I think life should be a relaxing and happy journey.
12AM: I'd change my Facebook status or something, haha. I'd like to die asleep with a smile on my face on my bed with my Appa stuffed animal.
If you really just read all of that, then you realize I didn't do anything lasting, except for making that photo album at the end.
A happy life isn't determined by important actions, but rather, is determined by actions done happily with important people.
"24 HOURS TO LIVE! (AKA 24 HOURS UNTIL YOU DIE)
Must Have...
- Minimum 8 Hours of Sleep
- Freedom to go anywhere (instant transporation)
- Can go with anyone you want, or alone, at any time
- At some point in the day, you must take two tests (15 minutes each)
- One of the tests must be a rigorous academic subject that you are good at
- The other test must be on an academic subject that you care about the most/are most interested in
- If you pass these two tests, you will be able to fix any significant social/political problem in the world. What would you fix?
- Where do you go, who is with you, and what do you do there?
12 AM -
1AM -
2AM -
3AM -
4AM -
5AM -
6AM -
7AM -
8AM -
9AM -
10AM -
11AM -
12PM -
1PM -
2PM -
3PM -
4PM -
5PM -
6PM -
7PM -
8PM -
9PM -
10PM -
11PM -
12AM -
What would you do?
Places to go?
Activities?
Abilities?
People?
Interests?
Concerns?
Talk to me about it after... If enough people fill it out, I'll type up mine! :D!"
12AM-5AM: I'll sleep and wake up just before the sunrise, so I can catch it one last time with the woman I love on a beach somewhere nowhere near civilization. I know, I know. Those of you who know me well are probably thinking, "No way Andrew can get up that early! Freakin' lazy-ass mother fu-" But this is a hypothetical so just let me have my fun, ok? =)
5AM-7AM: I'd eat breakfast with aforementioned woman while watching the sunrise. We'll talk and laugh and just be all smiles. Breakfast will include sausages and eggs and tater tots. Wait, wtf? That's what I eat at the dining hall...talk about pathetic aspirations. Anyways, the food itself hardly matters, as long as I get to eat something and enjoy my morning.
7AM-10AM: After I eat and watch the sunrise and change my Facebook status accordingly, I'd take a 3 hour nap. I freakin' woke up hella early!
"Andrew Nguyen just had an amazing morning with [insert name here], watching the sun rise on a deserted island and enjoying each other's company! About 2 minutes ago. - Comment"
10AM-11AM: I'd take my two tests. The first one would be an essay test. I'd probably take the essay portion of the SAT I again, since I did pretty well every time I took it. Then, after those first 15 minutes, I'd take a 30 minute break to cram for a Human Anatomy test, which is the required course I'm taking now for my degree, leading the way to a dental school acceptance hopefully. The world problem I'd fix would be world hunger. I think everyone should have a chance to be nourished. That way, they can be healthy to make good decisions. I just want everyone to be happy =)
11AM-12:30PM: I'll probably go to Church. I want it to be a Sunday celebration, with one of my friends presiding, and any other friends who happen to be priests also present behind the alter. Also behind the alter I'd like Cha Tri Dinh, simply because he really, really, really knows how to help out alter servers. Yes, I'm speaking as the voice of experience. Matt and I would have walked around aimlessly without him.
Also, I'd like the FLOCK Choir to sing for mass. The gathering song will be "Go to Distance" from Hercules. I want Tri Phan and Thuy Angela to sing the Responsorial Psalm and generally lead the vocals with the rest of FLOCK backing them up. Anh Hoan will conduct and My will be on piano when she's not singing. The music will be the Mass of Glory setting by Bob Hurd. I'd like to be the one to deliver the homily, giving insights about my life and my observations. I'd make it as funny as possible too so that Jesus himself will un-nail himself from the cross to slap his knee and clutch his ribs.
I hope water doesn't spill out, though.
Ok, ok, I'm going to hell, I know.
The Nicene Creed will be sung in Vietnamese as Kinh Tin Kính even though technically, it's missing some parts. Also, the peace-giving part will be long like it is at Youth Mass because everyone will give everyone a hug. The congregation will consist of all my friends, if they so choose to come. Normally, I hate it when that part lasts a long time, not because I don't like to extend peace, but because some people give peace while others stand around uncomfortably. If everyone was involved and it was long, I wouldn't mind. I just don't like leaving people out. That's why when I sang in FLOCK, I was the first one back to the choir section, ready to sing the Lamb of God. I don't like leaving members of the congregation out.
Anywho, after communion (which will feature "The Servant Song" as the song), FLOCK will regale us with a meditation song. I'm thinking Irish Blessing, but it could be anything as long as it's pretty. The last song will be "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban. It will be sung by Josh Groban and Mariah Carey, since I think they have the two best voices for their genders in the world.
12:30PM-2:30PM: I'll have lunch with my friends. It will be at a Pho luncheon where we can order plates that a restaurant would normally serve. I'll probably go with some Com Tam dish. Lunch will probably be with my Dong Hanh friends and whoever else went to church like Pray4Fun, my Pacific friends, Boy Scout friends, Bellarmine friends, anyone. We'll pay for the priests. It'd be a lot of fun, like the DHDH meals we had or any meal with Sean, Eric and Michael, haha.
2:30PM-5PM: Hang out at a remote beach with all my friends. Just enjoy the sun and laugh and play. Build sand castles, play football, bury people, argue with Michael Lai, etc.
5PM-6PM: Play basketball. It doesn't matter with whom as long as the games are competitive and fun. I'd actually like to play at American Airlines Stadium where the Dallas Mavericks play cuz I think it's one of the nicest stadiums in the NBA. Actually, it'd be cool to play in front of a sell-out crowd. The game wouldn't be as polished as an NBA game, but if it's competitive then it'll be fun to play and watch too.
6PM-6:30PM: Shower.
6:30PM-8:30PM: Play mafia with anyone who wants to play. Attendance is only required for my brother, cuz he knows how to make it interesting. We'd play on the beach and watch the sun set. We'd play until we need to light torches to see the cards.
8:30PM-10:30PM: Fatty dinner with my family, including all the cousins and uncles and aunts on both sides of my family. Also, all my friends are invited. So really, it's a party with food. We'll be jolly and merry and enjoy ourselves, laughing and joking. The food will be anything anyone wants. I'll probably have a hella gourmet burger with hella gourmet fries or something, haha. We'll be loud and talk and yell and sing at this dinner. Good times will be had. People will leave the dinner saying, "Wow. Andrew knows how to have a good dinner."
10:30PM-11PM: I'll play Super Smash Brothers Melee with Tri Nguyen. I know it'd yield something exciting, haha.
11PM-11:30PM: I'd say goodbye to everyone. Not the sad goodbye. The normal good bye. We shouldn't need to tell our friends and family how much we love them at the last moment. The whole day should be filled with words of appreciation. I wouldn't need to tell anyone that I'll miss them or that I love them. They should have already heard it from me.
11:30PM-11:59PM: I'd take all the pictures that were taken of my day and write a caption for them. There would probably be hundreds so I'll just probably caption the ones I like the best. I'd leave a picture book, showing everyone how I think life should be a relaxing and happy journey.
12AM: I'd change my Facebook status or something, haha. I'd like to die asleep with a smile on my face on my bed with my Appa stuffed animal.
If you really just read all of that, then you realize I didn't do anything lasting, except for making that photo album at the end.
A happy life isn't determined by important actions, but rather, is determined by actions done happily with important people.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Semi-epiphany
For as long as puberty has graced me, I have been somewhat different. If you were able to read my note about the 16 Things About Me, then you should (but probably don't) remember that I like analyzing and diagramming sentences. I attribute such English prowess to my middle school English teacher, Mrs. Gloria Wayne.
However, even though my peers received this very same education, I am not aware if they have progressed to become good writers/essayists/what-have-you. Also, my brother, though very proficient in his writing ability, has never written as much as I do, at least as far as I know.
Thus, among my closer circles of friends, I have always felt like some sort of anomaly, a branch sticking awkwardly outward from a smooth hedge. Though the multitude of them are generally very good writers, able to voice their thoughts and skillfully manifest them into words, I viewed few of them as being formed and identifying with their writing ability. They always had their other capabilities, but rare was it among my friends whom I thought writing the core of their identity (with notable exceptions, i.e. Eric Woo). However, in the back of my mind, I viewed myself as someone who was not necessarily a writer, but had writing tendencies.
So, the majority of my self-perception revolved not on my writing ability, since I have read many works that reach well beyond my imaginative dexterity, but rather, revolved around my random whims to write shit. Yeah, I could spin a yarn or two, could give a few quick lines that I hoped was original, but I was never really a writer, per se (per say, ;))
So, over the last year or so, I decided that I would take on the title of "writer" and would hope to expand my ability to write extensively. I felt that it was the only way to channel my education, much like music is to some and sports to others. I conformed to what people told me I was good at doing.
Well, people. I think you're wrong. I used to think that I had writing tendencies, but as I was falling asleep in Macroeconomics today, I jotted a few things down.
When Professor Herrin woke me up (which is another story in and of itself), I looked down at my notes. I found a few lines of poetry written. I don't remember writing them at all, but there they were.
Then I knew it. My tendencies do not lean toward writing. Sure I can shit out an essay about The Little Mermaid or Howl's Moving Castle or something random for a long time, but it wasn't exactly a skill that came easily to me.
My tendencies are toward poetry. I am, at heart, a poet. Poetry is my hobby, is my sport. I write stories and describe events because sometimes it's just the best way to express certain things. But if I were to express myself fully and most earnestly, I would do it in poetry.
So that's who I am. I've finally come to terms with it. I hope people care, haha.
Here's what I wrote while falling asleep.
I am tired; I am beat,
Body broken, burdened heat,
Holding onto heart so hollow,
Falling fast my fate will follow.
I am sure that I am strong,
Yet still sure that I am wrong.
So which strength must I take heed
If I'm wrong and weak indeed?
Is there strength in self-awareness,
Analyzing my own fairness?
Or is there strength in being strong,
Trust my own self all along?
I have nothing to reply here,
No such answers for the sly ear.
Hear me ponder; hear me rant.
Find the answers that I can't.
Find the answers hidden in this.
If they're hidden, do they exist?
However, even though my peers received this very same education, I am not aware if they have progressed to become good writers/essayists/what-have-you. Also, my brother, though very proficient in his writing ability, has never written as much as I do, at least as far as I know.
Thus, among my closer circles of friends, I have always felt like some sort of anomaly, a branch sticking awkwardly outward from a smooth hedge. Though the multitude of them are generally very good writers, able to voice their thoughts and skillfully manifest them into words, I viewed few of them as being formed and identifying with their writing ability. They always had their other capabilities, but rare was it among my friends whom I thought writing the core of their identity (with notable exceptions, i.e. Eric Woo). However, in the back of my mind, I viewed myself as someone who was not necessarily a writer, but had writing tendencies.
So, the majority of my self-perception revolved not on my writing ability, since I have read many works that reach well beyond my imaginative dexterity, but rather, revolved around my random whims to write shit. Yeah, I could spin a yarn or two, could give a few quick lines that I hoped was original, but I was never really a writer, per se (per say, ;))
So, over the last year or so, I decided that I would take on the title of "writer" and would hope to expand my ability to write extensively. I felt that it was the only way to channel my education, much like music is to some and sports to others. I conformed to what people told me I was good at doing.
Well, people. I think you're wrong. I used to think that I had writing tendencies, but as I was falling asleep in Macroeconomics today, I jotted a few things down.
When Professor Herrin woke me up (which is another story in and of itself), I looked down at my notes. I found a few lines of poetry written. I don't remember writing them at all, but there they were.
Then I knew it. My tendencies do not lean toward writing. Sure I can shit out an essay about The Little Mermaid or Howl's Moving Castle or something random for a long time, but it wasn't exactly a skill that came easily to me.
My tendencies are toward poetry. I am, at heart, a poet. Poetry is my hobby, is my sport. I write stories and describe events because sometimes it's just the best way to express certain things. But if I were to express myself fully and most earnestly, I would do it in poetry.
So that's who I am. I've finally come to terms with it. I hope people care, haha.
Here's what I wrote while falling asleep.
I am tired; I am beat,
Body broken, burdened heat,
Holding onto heart so hollow,
Falling fast my fate will follow.
I am sure that I am strong,
Yet still sure that I am wrong.
So which strength must I take heed
If I'm wrong and weak indeed?
Is there strength in self-awareness,
Analyzing my own fairness?
Or is there strength in being strong,
Trust my own self all along?
I have nothing to reply here,
No such answers for the sly ear.
Hear me ponder; hear me rant.
Find the answers that I can't.
Find the answers hidden in this.
If they're hidden, do they exist?
Monday, February 2, 2009
Who Will Crack These Ribs?
Will someone please call a surgeon...
So in anatomy lab, we were learning about the sternum and a few backbones and crap. Normally, as most people do, I enjoy sitting with my friends lest I am forced to learn, God forbid.
However, since the TAs came on time instead of early, those of us who were actually early went into lab at the same time as everyone else. Needless to say, the seating arrangements were messed up. And by messed up I mean my group of four friends were separated.
So after minutes of saying our goodbyes, we sat down. I was still able to sit with Craig, but we were forced into the last option seat of front row center. Being bored as hell, we opted to have fun with our bones. In fact we had so much fun and laughed so hard that our TA, while in the middle of explaining something, turned to us and said, "I know that it's boring guys. Try doing this three times a week."
To which Craig and I replied, "..."
Then we continued with our playing. Among many other things, we made a giraffe. The thoracic vertebrae became the head, right clavicle the neck and a rib its legs.
I like giraffes.
The giraffe before I realized I could...
stick the clavicle into the vertebral foramen of the thoracic vertebrae. Yes, Craig hates me.
But Twigs doesn't! =)
So in anatomy lab, we were learning about the sternum and a few backbones and crap. Normally, as most people do, I enjoy sitting with my friends lest I am forced to learn, God forbid.
However, since the TAs came on time instead of early, those of us who were actually early went into lab at the same time as everyone else. Needless to say, the seating arrangements were messed up. And by messed up I mean my group of four friends were separated.
So after minutes of saying our goodbyes, we sat down. I was still able to sit with Craig, but we were forced into the last option seat of front row center. Being bored as hell, we opted to have fun with our bones. In fact we had so much fun and laughed so hard that our TA, while in the middle of explaining something, turned to us and said, "I know that it's boring guys. Try doing this three times a week."
To which Craig and I replied, "..."
Then we continued with our playing. Among many other things, we made a giraffe. The thoracic vertebrae became the head, right clavicle the neck and a rib its legs.
I like giraffes.
The giraffe before I realized I could...
stick the clavicle into the vertebral foramen of the thoracic vertebrae. Yes, Craig hates me.
But Twigs doesn't! =)
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